Lesbians - Who's the man in the relationship?

With people accepting civil partnerships and homosexuality have also come some very naive questions and views on the roles within female relationships.

I know from past experience and have heard people questioning who is "the man" in a lesbian relationship, people don't usually mean anything by it, and i do genuinely believe that a large proportion of the time, it is honest belief that there is a woman in the relationship who has undertaken the role of "a man".

However in actual fact there is nothing less likely than one taking on the role of a man, putting aside the concept of pan sexuality, when a woman is with another woman, they don't tend to consider them as manly, maybe butch yes, but they don't consider them as having a penis, they enjoy sex with them, as a woman, and often the thought of having sex with a man is a turn off, and definitely not what they are interested in.

Why would a lesbian woman be in a relationship with a man? Equally, why would a straight man be in a relationship with another man? 

If you're attracted to a woman, you imagine her, consider her, and think of her as a woman, stop trying to change what people are, who they are, and label them. 

So what actually constitutes being a man in the relationship?

I differentiate between genders physically in regards to the fact that i consider a female to have breasts, curves, a vagina and to be generally feminine, obviously there is a very wide spectrum where gender is concerned; i.e. transsexualism, cross-dressing, however most males do not have these qualities, therefore they are very different physically. 

Also, we have been conditioned through society to be very different and conduct ourselves very differently as genders, the gap between genders is a lot smaller than it used to be, however there are still very clear differences between the ways in which they are expected to behave.

We are conditioned so that males as expected to act more masculine, butch, protective, aggression is also accepted when controlled, they are seen as hunters and providers, whereas females are seen as dainty, vulnerable, in need of protection and feminine, basically the opposite to males.

It is said that within our human nature to adopt one of two roles, in friendships, relationships, families, and every aspect of social interaction, we either adopt a role as a person who helps other people, a problem solver, we tend to ignore our own problems and solve others, in relationships these people generally tend to be seen as the "man" in the relationship, because they look after the other person in the relationship.

(This isn't to say that everything is one sided whatsoever, it's simply within our nature to adopt a role, it's part of the dynamics of relationships).

The other role tends to be seen as the "woman" in the relationship, they are generally the one who allows the other person to take care of them, more so than visa versa, and quite often they are open with any issues that they have,  whereas the opposing role may be reluctant to do so.

Not everybody fits into these roles to a T, however they are general categories which balance out relationships very often, a lot of relationships do fit into these very narrow categories, however not all do, so where does that lead the conclusions?

Well, if every reluctant problem solver was considered "the woman" then a heterosexual relationship could actually contain two  women?

Nope, i thought not, the heterosexual woman would probably be offended at the concept of being in a relationship with another woman?

So why is it any different to a homosexual relationship containing a man?

It isn't.

Maybe some members of society just have the approach to leave it, and that's wrong, they shouldn't have to,

Society, believe it or not, homosexuality is just as natural and right as heterosexuality, there doesn't need to be a male in a lesbian relationship, a female in a gay relationship, all that matters is that people are happy; you only get one opportunity to live life, why does it matter who people spend it with?

Every relationship is different, and therefore the dynamics are different, we as people each react differently to different situations, with different people, what might work for one lesbian relationship, may not work for another; 

stop giving everybody labels, we are what we are, gay, straight, lesbian, we are people, and we love who we love.